miss Manners: I don’t recognize what this pre-marriage ceremony experience is supposed to be

pricey miss MANNERS: What, pray tell, is a "pre-marriage ceremony toast" event?

A longtime, but informal, pal — the father of the bride, whom I have never met — has despatched an electronic invitation (about which i will be able to say nothing) to attend "Bride and Groom's Pre-marriage ceremony Toast." it is an afternoon experience on a definite date at a definite location. that's the whole message in the invitation.

No method to RSVP is supplied. i will, for this reason, respond to the gentleman's very own e mail handle — while refraining from clicking the tempting "unsubscribe" hyperlink inside the invitation.

although i'm unable to attend, i might respect understanding what is expected at such an experience, if I had been to acquire such an invite once again sooner or later. Would one be expected to deliver a present to the betrothed couple? What would one expect to occur on the event itself, other than smiling and providing superior needs or congratulations to the acceptable parties?

gentle READER: whereas pass over Manners shares your confusion (and distaste for the formula of birth), the intention of the birthday celebration seems to be mentioned in its title: to announce an engagement. And trusting that the invitee has the capability to figure how to contact the host for an RSVP is appropriate.

What this indistinct invitation does have going for it's that not like an engagement birthday party, this event does not force its attendees to start the long route to marriage ceremony latest fatigue, years in strengthen. It readily celebrates the betrothed with a modest party and a toast, correctly.

youngsters, it is additionally feasible that if the experience is appropriate earlier than the specific marriage ceremony, you're being invited to an adjoining experience instead of the wedding itself. but once more, no items are being demanded, and for that we should still be grateful. both means, pass over Manners will take the win and suggests that you do, too.

dear miss MANNERS: Is it correct to wear costume pants instead of a costume or skirt to the party celebrating my husband and me on our 50th anniversary?

gentle READER: As you are the host (or possibly in close contact with the adult who's), you may set the fashion.

Please promise pass over Manners, besides the fact that children, that you will now not confuse your visitors by way of attempting to indicate the degree of costume on the invitation with meaningless phrases like "semi-formal," "inventive cocktail" or "festive casual." The degree of ritual may still be indicated by the invitation's start system (digital vs. cream linen stationery), wording ("Come on over!" vs. "The pleasure of your enterprise is requested"), venue (backyard vs. resort ballroom) or readily by means of realizing you for the superior part of fifty years.

pricey miss MANNERS: I'm historical-original: I accept as true with probably the most applicable response to hospitality is reciprocation. Is there a well mannered way to inform a non-reciprocator that many times making indistinct invitations (e.g. "Jenny and i want to have you over for dinner sometime quickly") is hectic and that you'd like them to cease making them?

mild READER: "we might love that. When is respectable?"

Please send your questions to leave out Manners at her site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or via postal mail to leave out Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas metropolis, MO 64106.