Dr. Tarilayefa Ebimo Dadiowei, from Obunagha in Gbarain clan, Yenagoa native government enviornment of Bayelsa State, and Mrs. Fancy Timiniebieri Dadiowei, from Polaku, within the same local government area, had been married for 29 years. Blessed with infants, Tarilayefa, a lecturer at Isaac Jasper Boro faculty of schooling, Sagbama and Fancy, a retired matron with the Bayelsa State health center administration Board shared the secrets of their blissful union with FEMI FOLARANMI, in Yenagoa. They also left some phrases of assistance for spinsters and bachelors.
inform us the way you met before you became husband and wife
Tarilayefa: it is a long story however let me take into account the half that i can. earlier than we got married, we met on the simple school the place I did my First Leaving faculty certificate. In those days, realizing every other in school became from a distance. I knew her in primary faculty. but we have been now not that close, and we were no longer in the same classification. After my primary college education, I went to a secondary faculty. but all the way through vacation trips when everyone got here domestic, we used to have a get-together. and this turned into after I felt her presence as a person from my area. besides the fact that children, the thought of getting married turned into now not there. It turned into after alternate of letters began between two of us that we grew to be very close. it truly is to claim, we had been chums until the deserve to get a spouse came up. I had no hesitation in making a choice on her as my spouse.
Timiniebieri: His recollection of how we met is appropriate. After our fundamental school education, we grew to be closer after both of us had long past to secondary college. This become the length of letter writing, pen buddies, exchange of photos and all that.
turned into there any opposition?
Tarilayefa: as far as i know, there become no opposition. If there turned into any, it turned into in the back of my back. for my part I did not notice any opposition. Even the day I offered her to my father, he spoke a parable that whether this woman i wanted to marry can hear the sound of a bell. The parable is biblical in which means.
What become the enchantment?
Tarilayefa: there's a biblical meaning that out of the eater comes some thing sweet. yes, there have been many ladies around. but there have been some features that made me go for her. She is thorough, homely, very tolerant, of first rate persona, and he or she believes she will manage herself even when i am not there. She does not believe that the husband ought to do every thing. also, she has deep pastime in religious considerations and a pretty good non secular fame. these items endeared me to her.
Timiniebieri: We had been pals for a long time, and throughout this duration, I noticed a extremely hardworking and God-fearing man.
How did you propose to her?
Tarilayefa: loads of us whereas transforming into up were very shy. I needed to discuss with my brother and friend, Ebitimi Okoko, that this was what become occurring in my mind. He inspired me to move for it and even volunteered to go with me. I went to her region of work and proposed to her. I observed "I are looking to marry you". however she observed I may still supply her some time to think about it. Later, she came to peer me in Port Harcourt and wrote her answer on a piece of paper. Her reply became sure. That paper remains in my archives.
When he proposed to you, how did you acquire it?
Timiniebieri: We had been chums. That day, he came together with his buddy. He changed into the one that spoke. I listened, after which asked his buddy why he's talking for him. I stated: "does it suggest that he can not talk?"(laughter). We laughed over it. It was then he informed me that he desired to relax with me. I then advised him that i would supply him a solution. I later wrote it and went to supply it to him in Port Harcourt. Many years later, he's nevertheless preserving the letter, as a reminder of what came about then (laughter).
what's the most memorable issue that you just remember about your wedding?
Timiniebieri: apart the operating up and down all through that duration, there changed into issue with funds and it become like we may still shift the wedding however we noted we'd go ahead, that God would deliver. at last we had it because pals rallied around us. There became a white man at our wedding and americans were very excited to look him at our marriage ceremony. individuals nevertheless discuss it.
what's his usual meals?
Timiniebieri: He likes KKF (unripe plantain porridge), then yam and stew.
what is your spouse's well-known meals?
Tarilayefa: She likes KKF. as soon as she takes KKF, the realm is in her pocket.
What advise do you have for younger bachelors that intends to marry
Tarilayefa: My advice for young bachelors is that they may still no longer rush into marriage. Some americans rush into marriage as a result of 'his face is good'. however do they comprehend what the person is made from? Some have long past into marriage because of physical appearance however at the conclusion of the day, they encountered a lot of crises. For me, the most beneficial adult suitable for marriage is a person or lady with a pretty good personality. And, knowing the person, however you may additionally not be so shut at the start, but asking questions around can aid. Some americans marry the devil and that's why non secular fame concerns an awful lot. if your religious repute is powerful, you may be in a position to identify hiccups in prayers. we have heard of circumstances the place individuals married from the marine world and once they settled down they began to see manifestations. I feel there is need for caution for both young men and girls now not to rush issues so that they might understand the alternative of God for them. In our personal case, however we knew each and every different a long time ago, we didn't rush into marriage; it took us time. In a way, a part of my existence changed into standard to her. I additionally knew part of her existence. decent personality is terribly primary in marriage.
What suggestions do you have for spinsters?
Timiniebieri: young girls may still not be too excited to get married as a result of handsome faces. As a younger girl, I additionally had a picture of the finest man i needed to marry however when God directed me, it became no longer to the photo that I had in my head. i'm satisfied nowadays. Marriage isn't the place you go in and come out. You go in and reside, and tackle the challenges in it. i will be able to propose any spinster now not to marry because of riches. fairly, they should still are searching for the face of God.
are you able to remember your first misunderstanding and how you resolved it?
Tarilayefa: For me, I cannot take into account any misunderstanding. yes, it took location however I cannot bear in mind since it become inconsequential. We had been always open to every other and discussed concerns. The Bible gave us a commandment that the woman should still be humble. And so if a lady is humble, and the man is additionally humble, there won't be issue. we are yet to journey an enormous disaster, and i be aware of that God will now not permit us to go through any.
What can you say are the secrets of a hit marriage?
Tarilayefa: there's need for realizing. something you are looking to do, you deserve to put heads together. Don't consider that the opinion of your companion does not count number. You ought to work as a team. You have to also recognize the value of God to your marriage. Marriage requires patience. if you can't suffer and you run away, you may come across more advantageous problem. Martin Luther King stated we may still be brave in whatever we are doing. And if there are issues round you, you should be in a position to assault the forces of evil. As husband and wife, you should be capable of take a seat down and talk about what the concerns are, and collectively resolve them. My spouse and that i have our babies's faculty expenses to pay. So we operate a joint account for it. If she receives her profits, she pays in some cash. If I get mine, I achieve this too. She operates the account and she is doing it essentially. We do it in such a way that before the br and new time period begins, we have already got their money equipped. In some marriages, this cannot happen. here's as a result of everything can be pushed to the person. this is anything i love in her. She is open and does everything with sincerity. Openness and sincerity are very essential. it's decent for couples that are always in concern to be trained from those making growth. Marriage is a continual gaining knowledge of event. You could make mistake. And, when you do, proper it! Don't invite third parties at all times to settle your issue as a result of after they do, they take it outside your domestic. And, earlier than you realize it, loads of damages were achieved.
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