Ask Ann Cannon: I’m a widow, but can i nevertheless wear my ...

dear Ann Cannon • I actually have been widowed for four years, however I continue to put on my wedding bands. I've been criticized and informed that it's inappropriate to wear wedding rings when widowed, but I suppose it suggests recognize for my very long marriage. additionally, I'm a wealthy, feisty 87-yr-ancient lady and need to discourage men from attempting to this point me. Your innovations?

pricey Unsinkable • You asked for my innovations, so right here they are. First, congratulations on being feisty on the age of 87! stay feisty, my chum. And second, who says it's inappropriate that you can nevertheless put on your wedding bands? What you do or don't do along with your wedding bands is no person's beeswax but your own. tell 'em I talked about so, because i'm team YOU all the means.

Thanks for writing and optimum wishes at all times!

dear Ann Cannon • i am embarrassed that I suppose the manner I do — and even more embarrassed that i am achieving out to you for assistance. but right here goes. i'm one of four adult siblings in our family. Our fogeys, who're in their 60s, are both alive and well. My "problem" is that I'm now not a problem to them. not like a few of my siblings — considered one of my sisters, in selected — I'm suit, bodily and emotionally. I'm happily married with a child on the manner. I make a good living. i know my fogeys love me, nevertheless it looks like most of their power goes toward their needy children (as it probably should — I do get that). nonetheless, I once in a while think unnoticed and below-appreciated. Any suggestions for coping with this circumstance?

expensive Brother • Don't suppose embarrassed. Your feelings are average and absolutely understandable. additionally, your event is so normal it even indicates up within the Bible. In some ways, you're the older brother of the prodigal son, correct?

So, what in the event you do? I don't think it would hurt, frankly, to have a loving, non-accusatory dialog with your folks. tell them the certainty — that every now and then you consider disregarded. because you are so self-reliant, they may additionally count on that you simply don't need or want the rest from them. allow them to know in particular what they can do to make you think like you're on their radar.

I really had a similar experience with one in all our sons. in the conclusion, he reached out to me and mentioned he would recognize it if I known as him (as an alternative of vice versa) now after which. I preferred that he didn't let his emotions of frustration with me fester. I'm still no longer very decent about calling him. but I'm better than i was, and he appreciates my efforts.

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And now a observe (or two!) from our readers …

dear Ann Cannon • I'm responding to your request for guidance for the frustrated employee. They in general don't teach you in faculty the way to work or what it's like to work, so if you need to be trained you must teach yourself. I indicate the Harvard Negotiation project, which contains "thank you for the remarks." I additionally imply looking at the work of Bob Sutton, which comprises "decent Boss, dangerous Boss."

expensive Ann Cannon • when I used to suppose that my husband took the things I did for him with no consideration, i'd effusively praise myself in entrance of him. as an instance: "thanks, Mary, for getting ready a pleasant meal for us after being to your toes all day," or "thanks, Mary, for always making bound we've clear clothing to wear." You get the theory. firstly, he checked out me like i was a bit off, however he quickly acquired the idea.